Irony v. Coincidence | June 05, 2007 | 20:15

Ever notice how often people misuse the word "irony" ... ever misuse it yourself? Probably. Most everyone does; the word has been so misappropriated that, at least in colloquial use, it's become synonymous with "coincidence". On top of that, it's almost always mispronounced.

There are two ways to pronounce "irony" ... with each pronunciation providing a different meaning. The most common is "eye-er-nee", which means "possessing the some or all of the metallic properties of iron". For example, you eat a bloody steak and can taste the iron in the meat: "This steak is irony."

The second, much rarer pronunciation, is "eye-ron-ee". When thus spoken, it means what most everyone intends when they use the former pronunciation: "the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning" or "An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning."

However, if you asked someone to give you an example of the "eye-ron-ee" brand of irony, you'd likely get an Alanis Morisette response: "It's like rain on your wedding day." or "It's ironic that you're working at the same job as me; I haven't seen you in years!"

No ... sorry ... those two things are a bummer and a coincidence, respectively. Neither are remotely ironic, by either pronunciation.

Irony (eye-ron-ee) is this headline from today's news: "Six die in lifesaving mission." Also, the following scenarios are ironic: a neat freak who's sentenced to slinging garbage as community service; a man who made his fortune on blue chip stocks blows all his money on a horse named Blue Chip; someone gets fired from their job at an employment agency.

Someone might even say it's ironic that people so often misuse irony ... but it isn't; they'd be wrong. It's nothing more than a linguistic tragedy.